Who this is for

Helping a Parent After a Scam

Finding out that a parent has been scammed is awful for everyone, and worst for the parent, who is often embarrassed enough to hide it. The first days are about stopping further losses. The weeks after are about finding out exactly what went, and putting in place the checks that make it much harder to happen again.

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The first day

Call the bank and card companies on the number printed on the card or statement, and report the fraud
Stop any further payments, wires or gift card purchases the scammer has asked for
Change the passwords on email and banking, from a device the scammer has not touched
If the scammer had remote access to a computer, have it checked before it is used again
Freeze your parent’s credit with Equifax, Experian and TransUnion, which is free
Report it to the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center and the FTC, and to local police if money was lost

If you believe your parent is being exploited by someone they know, Adult Protective Services in their state takes reports.

Finding out what actually went

Scams rarely involve a single payment. A reconciliation of the last several months of every account usually turns up earlier, smaller payments that nobody connected: a test charge, a gift card purchase, a cash withdrawal on an unusual day, a new payee. Your bookkeeper can work back through the statements and list every transaction that looks connected, with dates and amounts, which is exactly what the bank, the police report and any insurance claim will ask for.

Beware of the second scam

People who have lost money are often contacted by someone offering to recover it for a fee: a "fund recovery" firm, a fake government agency, a lawyer nobody hired. These are almost always the same scammers, or others who bought the list. Genuine help from a bank or a government agency does not charge upfront fees. Tell your parent to expect these calls and to hang up.

Making it harder next time

Monthly reconciliation is the most effective ongoing protection, because a scammer’s payments look different from your parent’s normal month and are spotted within weeks. Alerts on accounts for large withdrawals and new payees help, as does naming a trusted contact person with banks and brokerages so they have someone to call if they see warning signs.

None of this needs to take your parent’s independence away. It means someone is looking, and your parent can say "my bookkeeper checks everything" to anyone who pressures them, which is often enough to end the call.

Families Recovering From a Scam: common questions

Can the money be recovered?

Sometimes, particularly card charges reported quickly. Wires, gift cards and cryptocurrency are much harder. The bank and law enforcement are the people who pursue recovery.

My parent does not want anyone to know. What can I do?

Start with the bank and the passwords, which protect them without a big conversation. Scams are common and very well organized; saying so plainly often helps a parent feel less foolish.

How far back should the accounts be checked?

At least six months, and further if the first contact was earlier. The reconciliation usually shows when the pattern started.

What your bookkeeper can take on

Also written for Adult Children Managing a Parent's Bills, Long-Distance Caregivers, Siblings Sharing the Job, After a Spouse Dies, A Parent Moving to Assisted Living, Older Adults Who Want Help With Their Own Bills and Executors and Trustees Who Need the Records in Order.

Tell us what happened

A few lines is enough: who needs the help, what is piling up, and whether anything is urgent. A person replies within one business day to set up a short, free call. Requests answered within one business day · Calls Mon–Fri, 9am–5pm Eastern Or call (888) 833-9039 if you would rather talk first.